If you buy into the Many Worlds Intepretation of quantum physics, there must be a parallel universe in which I crossed the US/Canada border without incident last Tuesday. In some other dimension, I was not waved over by a cluster of border guards who swarmed my car like army ants for no apparent reason; or perhaps they did, and I simply kept my eyes downcast and refrained from asking questions.

Along some other timeline, I did not get out of the car to ask what was going on. I did not repeat that question when refused an answer and told to get back into the vehicle. In that other timeline I was not punched in the face, pepper-sprayed, shit-kicked, handcuffed, thrown wet and half-naked into a holding cell for three fucking hours, thrown into an even colder jail cell overnight, arraigned, and charged with assaulting a federal officer, all without access to legal representation (although they did try to get me to waive my Miranda rights. Twice.). Nor was I finally dumped across the border in shirtsleeves: computer seized, flash drive confiscated, even my fucking paper notepad withheld until they could find someone among their number literate enough to distinguish between handwritten notes on story ideas and, I suppose, nefarious terrorist plots. I was not left without my jacket in the face of Ontario's first winter storm, after all buses and intercity shuttles had shut down for the night.

In some other universe I am warm and content and not looking at spending two years in jail for the crime of having been punched in the face.

But that is not this universe.

More at Boing Boing and Making Light.

This is America today. We pay the salaries of these thugs. We let our culture descend to the point at which some of our fellow citizens respond to such outrages by "pointing out" that if one were merely appropriately deferent and had just cringed more all would have ended "well." As long as we all simply obey the commands of our overlords, without question, we'll all live happily ever after.

Live in fear. Do what you're told. Do not question authority. Do not make trouble. You have no rights.

I don't want to live in this America anymore.

Mr. Karp, the founder of The Printed Blog, a Chicago start-up that we wrote about early this year, announced Wednesday that he would stop publishing the paper because he had run out of money and could not raise enough additional capital.

...

His idea was to take free articles and pictures from blogs, with their permission, and print them on 11-by-17-inch pieces of paper. Then he sold ads to local businesses and distributed the papers at train stations in Chicago and San Francisco. Though he still had to spend money on paper, ink and delivery people, he tried to cut costs by putting commercial printers in the homes of the delivery workers.

As Egon Spengler said in Ghostbusters, "Print is dead."

That was way back in 1984.

People may be able to taste words

We are all capable of "hearing" shapes and sizes and perhaps even "tasting" sounds, according to researchers.

This blending of sensory experiences, or synaesthesia, they say, influences our perception and helps us make sense of a jumble of simultaneous sensations.

Really, the school -- which exists to train journalists -- should know better than to honor a woman who thinks journalists should work for free!

Funny how the fact that The Huffington Post fails to pay most of its bloggers didn't come up when Newhouse Dean Lorraine Branham gushed about the blog mistress in a prepared statement: "Arianna Huffington was ahead of the curve with HuffPo. She embraced the use of new media but never forgot that no matter where or how you tell the story, content is still king. This is what we teach our students."

Oh, give me a break! Content, in Arianna's world, is not king, and it never was. Link bait is king; opportunism is king. If content was really honored at The Huffington Post, the site wouldn't have gotten in trouble last December for lifting content wholesale from other sites that do pay for their own content. (In case you missed the scandal, HuffPo's Chicago outpost got caught red-handed stealing detailed, bylined capsule concert previews -- not just quoting them but copying them in their entirety -- from the likes of the Chicago Reader and Time Out Chicago. See "Arianna Huffington's Scuzzy Copying Pisses Off Chicagoans" on Gawker.)

I've been raging about HuffPo's devaluation of content -- and, ergo, content creators -- since late 2007, when HuffPo co-founder Ken Lerer told USA Today the company had no plans to ever pay its bloggers: "That's not our financial model. We offer them visibility, promotion and distribution with a great company."

Amen.

I guess 9/11 was merely a series of politically motivated plane crashes, then.

So much for the "liberal" media: it can't even call terrorism "terrorism."

Anyway, the point here is not to toot Cosimo's horn but to highlight something I just posted at Cosimo's blog wondering about the future of "the book" and of publishing as a traditional industry. If you're at all in the least interested in such stuff, please check it out and comment over there, if you have something to say. I'm trying to jumpstart conversation over there...

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Rapper Kanye West does not read books or respect them but nevertheless he has written one that he would like you to buy and read.

The Grammy Award winner, known for his No. 1 albums and outspoken statements on everything from racism in America to the banality of Twitter, is the co-author of "Thank You And You're Welcome."

His book is 52 pages -- some blank, others with just a few words -- and offers his optimistic philosophy on life. One two-page section reads, "Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you react!" Another page reads "I hate the word hate!"

That 52-page collection of fortune cookies will set you back 10 bucks. The book is deliberately not wordy or anything, because that's the author's philosophy on books:

"Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed," West said. "I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph.

"I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life," he said.

*sigh*

Such is the case with an essay by Sam Schulman in The Weekly Standard called "The Worst Thing About Gay Marriage."

You must keep in mind, as you read these choice excerpts, that Schulman believes gay marriage is a terrible idea, but more importantly, he believes the entire concept will self-implode because it is not feasible. His reasons for believing this include:

Gay marriage is not burdened with a legacy of historical bullshit about the dominance of one gender over another:

This most profound aspect of marriage--protecting and controlling the sexuality of the child-bearing sex--is its only true reason for being, and it has no equivalent in same-sex marriage. Virginity until marriage, arranged marriages, the special status of the sexuality of one partner but not the other (and her protection from the other sex)--these motivating forces for marriage do not apply to same-sex lovers.

Trust me when I say this, only a few arrogant egotistical bookworms buy the dribble you produce. The problem we face today, sit squarely in the laps of the dems.. But, please keep on showing your bigot reporting and interpertation skills, its great entertainment.

Oh noes, the readers, they'll doom us all!

It truly does astonish me, the fear that the love of reading instills in some people. It's almost as if those folks know their placement of commas, their lack of usage of apostrophes, and their refusal to match tenses are wrong, and so they are forestalling the pointing out of such. "I, sir, am an American," you can almost hear the perfect embodiment of those folks declaring, "and have no need for such homosexual fripperies as proper grammar or the self-reflection that reading encourages."

This one was a close second, though:

I find [a Daily Kos diarist who shall remain nameless] many comments full of vulgar wording such as the frequent use of the four-letter word beginning with a F. There are women reading these comments, and we are ladies, and we find his use of the word so often, offensive.

Is this a spoof from Ladies Against Women? Alas, it appears to be genuine. If being a "lady" means engaging in self-censorship and the limiting one's language, then fuck that goddamn shit. O, who will protect the ladies from indelicate vocabulary? It's hard to believe females like this still exist in the 21st century...

4/29: Did I miscount again? Today is the 100th day? Ah... I started counting with the first real day of work, on Wednesday, January 21st. Silly me...

4/28: Looks like I miscounted somewhere. The 100th day will be Thursday the 30th, with the final word being posted the next day.

4/25: Another two-fer as we come down to the wire...

4/9: Another missed day yesterday, so another two-fer...

3/25: Missed a day yesterday, so a two-fer today...

3/11: Yesterday was the 50th day of the Obama administration, so we're halfway through the honeymoon.

2/21: Ooops. I repeated a word: I just noticed that I used "stimulus" twice, and here I've been trying to avoid repeating words. I beg forgiveness and claim ongoing illness on that day.

In my surfing this morning I came across the phrase "100 words for 100 days," and I thought, Cool. A single word each day to describe that day's progress in the Obama adminstration? Cool.

Turns out the phrase was not being used in that way, and it was being used for some PR thing that I have absolutely no interest in. But I like it anyway, so I'm stealing it.

Yesterday was Day One, and now, with the day's events behind us, we can sum it up in one word -- or we can try, at least. So I start today, with yesterday's word. Day 100 will be May 1, so I'll post the 100th word on May 2.

(Gonna be fun keeping up with this while I'm in London for 10 days in February, but I thrive on impossible tasks...)

"rectify front-end convergence"
"brand integrated partnerships"
"aggregate integrated niches"

Have fun.

(h/t Danielle)

He's being kind, because this is how he -- an MBA himself -- opens his piece:

If Robespierre were to ascend from hell and seek out today's guillotine fodder, he might start with a list of those with three incriminating initials beside their names: MBA. The Masters of Business Administration, that swollen class of jargon-spewing, value-destroying financiers and consultants have done more than any other group of people to create the economic misery we find ourselves in.

Yikes.

(word of the day/phrase of the day: I highlight a word or phrase, especially new coinages or clever usages, that tickles me)

For a working hack--that word is used here without judgment--it's hard enough to get a pitch accepted by an editor (much less an 11-page evergreen on a 72-year-old who's in not in the Jonas Brothers). But now you gotta compete with writers editors think are cooler, better connected, and who don't even need the money.

Haber also points out recent journalist endeavors by Brad Pitt, apparently also a writer and photographer as well as an actor; Sean Penn, who fancies himself a foreign correspondent; and others.

Twitter switch for Guardian, after 188 years of ink

• Newspaper to be available only on messaging service
• Experts say any story can be told in 140 characters

The whole thing -- over at the still unTwitterized Guardian -- is a hoot to read, but my favorite bits are the historical stories that have been reworked:

A mammoth project is also under way to rewrite the whole of the newspaper's archive, stretching back to 1821, in the form of tweets. Major stories already completed include "1832 Reform Act gives voting rights to one in five adult males yay!!!"; "OMG Hitler invades Poland, allies declare war see tinyurl.com/b5x6e for more"; and "JFK assassin8d @ Dallas, def. heard second gunshot from grassy knoll WTF?"