In which I attempt to be as blasphemous as possible on this, the holiest day in the Christian calendar. (Disclaimer: Since only believers can blaspheme, I cannot actually commit blasphemy. But I can try.)
It’s kinda weird, ain’t it, how as science makes miracles less and less necessary as explanations for Stuff We Haven’t Figured Out Yet, some people just can’t let go of the crutch of religion. So, while we have had, in the past few weeks, revelations of more and more evolutionary “missing links” -- which we’ve never really lacked for, despite what creation fantasists say -- we also have the bizarre specter of something like this, from the Washington Post:
Combining evidence of a cold snap 2,000 years ago with sophisticated mapping of the Sea of Galilee, Israeli and U.S. scientists have come up with a scientific explanation of how Jesus could have walked on water.Their answer: It was actually floating ice.
Geek Philosophy reader David Conner sent this link my way, and I totally agree with him:
I've always found this kind of “Bible skepticism” story slightly silly. Yeah, maybe Jesus walked on frozen ice. Or maybe people made stuff up! Ya think? :))
But, okay, people want “rational” explanations for the “miracles” of “Jesus”? I got a million of ‘em, folks:
Changing water in wine? Crazy Billy’s Fine Wine and Liquors’ three-bottles-for-ten-bucks bargain corner. (Seriously, dudes, Billy’s has insane prices on really good wine.)
Calming a stormy sea? Judiciously and surreptiously viewing of The Weather Channel. Those meterologists are practically prescient!
Loaves and fishes? Man, have you been to Costco lately? The gospels don’t even mention the 18 gallon jar of mayonnaise Jesus picked up for $1.98!
Healing the blind man? Hello:
Catching a fish with a coin in its mouth? Hey, my dad could pull a quarter from behind my ear -- what’s the big deal?
The whole rising-from-the-dead thing?
"Call it, Carter!"
"No, dammit -- I'm not giving up on this one! Charge to 400!"
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