In my persona of movie critic and professional geek, I make occasional guest appearances at science-fiction conventions, where I sit on panels about genre film and TV and generally have a ball. This past weekend, I spoke and partied at Arisia, in Boston. I was delightfully stunned by the reception I got there. When I introduced myself at panels -- which I do by saying something like, “I’m MaryAnn Johanson, I’m a film and TV critic, and I run FlickFilosopher.com” -- invariably people would say something like, “Wow, that’s you?” in a heartily approving tone. Boston-area print film critic Dan Kimmel’s annual Arisia roundup of geek movies released in 2005 was probably the best-attended film panel at the con -- I was but a mere audience member for this one, not a panelist; though Dan, whom I’ve come to know and worship and often disagree vehemently with over the past few years, assures me I will be on this panel next year. When I stood up to offer a comment, Dan insisted I introduce myself, and a wave of “ooohs” and “whoaaaas” rippled through the room. I was floored, and flattered. Perhaps eight-plus years of slaving away online are finally starting to pay off...
In mid February, I’ll be at Boskone, also in Boston. If you’re around, stop by and say hello. I am so much fun when I’m drunk, which is often at conventions...
SF cons are such a uniquely geeky thing, but most geeks, I would venture, have never been to a con. If you’re thinking of checking one out, this rundown of suggested rules and guidelines for attending a con is a good place to get an idea of what you might encounter. (A more comprehensive and often more tongue-in-cheek guide to cons is SFCon Survival Kit for NeoFans.) The first rule -- and one that is reiterated numerous times -- is this: “Shower.” Unfortunately, Sid, the author of this important document, has pinpointed the major drawback of conventions: they’re frequented by a subculture within a subculture, geeks who give geekdom a bad name. There were moments at Arisia when I was stuck in a crowded elevator or otherwise forced into close quarters with fans that I thought I was going to pass out, the stench was so unbearable. It’s too bad, because these folks are a tiny minority -- some of the coolest, smartest, most interesting, and cleanest people I’ve ever met have been fans, and a lot of them have become close friends because they’re fascinating people with many varied and diverse interests far afield from SF/F... as well as being people you can talk to about the Force and the Prime Directive and just what the hell is going on on Lost and other such things.
Cons tend to attract the weirdest and most unsocialized kind of geeks (that is, the nerds), and it doesn't take many of them to have an impact. But the house-trained fans are striking back: we’re not happy being seen -- or smelled -- as such asocial misfits. Some wag at Arisia went around the con and left silver bullets in the form of tiny hotel-size soaps and travel-size bottles of shampoo and conditioner on which had been plastered homemade labels reading “Stop and think / Do you stink? / Hygiene Ninja.” I did not witness the acts of placing these things, only saw the silver bullets, which I of course gleefully collected not only because I’m a starving writer and so free basics are always good, but also so that I could photograph them to share with you. Alas, while I have upgraded to a new iBook, I have yet to upgrade the little doodad that lets me read the tiny discs my ancient digicam uses. But a quick Google of “hygiene ninja” reveals that this anonymous do-gooder has his own blog: of course he does. That’s his logo up there. Fans are so clever.
Over the next few days, I’ll be posting more about my experience at Arisia this year, especially some fun results of panels I sat on. Stay tuned...
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