The army speaks geek these days:
We've also realized that the title "Private" is demeaning. It makes you sound shy and socially awkward and unable to function in society. That's not you, no matter what your guidance counsellor told you. Now, while we can't hand out "General" or "Supreme Allied Commander" right away, we can offer you a whole bunch of options. Through a special arrangement with LucasFilm, you can enter the armed forces as, for example, Sith Lord Wojoski or Jar Jar Sanderson. We even have an exciting design-your-own-rank program. One of our best new recruits is Neutral Evil Half-Elf Druid McCallister. And you know what? If McCallister believes his "Little Mermaid" poncho is a cloak of invisibility, we believe it makes him invisible, too. That's where we're at right now.
From The New York Times? The Onion? Nah, it’s from The New Yorker, a piece by Joel Stein with the deceptively bland title "The New Army Recruiting Pamphlet." Funny stuff -- check it out.
