Revenge of the shill

I’ve got an essay up over at The Internet Review of Science Fiction (free registration is required to read the site) about how Anakin Skywalker fits into mythological traditions that turn up all over the globe. I know a lot of fans think Lucas has let the mythmaking thing go to his head, and maybe he has -- I’m not interested in getting into a debate about it. But I mention it because I think almost everyone would agree that if Anakin/Darth Vader is any kind of "hero," he is emphatically not heroic in his Vader phase.

So why is Darth Vader turning up selling everything from Burger King hamburgers to M&Ms?

Darksidemms_1

I mean, sure: Dark chocolate M&Ms? It’s about bloody time. But what is being suggested by a "Darth Mix" of somber colors and a red M&M done up like Darth Maul? "Eat this candy... and turn to the Dark Side"? Am I the only one who finds this a tad uncomfortable?

But the M&Ms and the creepy Burger King TV ads aren’t the worst of it. I touched on this in my review of the film at FlickFilosopher.com, how icky it is to have a mass-murdering maniac with evil superpowers selling stuff to children, and that was before I came upon this:

Lavapoptarts

This is truly demented. "Lava Berry Explosion"? Holy crap: why not just have a burned-to-a-crisp Anakin on the box, howling in agony as all the nerves in his dermis are cooked away while his former best friend looks on and refuses to put him out of his misery? Why not engineer the Pop Tarts to smell like burning hair and frying human skin while they’re toasting in your kitchen? (In the IROSF essay I touch on how Anakin’s journey through the Dark Side might be considered akin to a crucifixion such as those the mythological figures of Jesus or Odin endured. Passionfruit of the Christ Pop Tarts, anyone?) Cuz that’s what these artifical-everything breakfast treats are commemorating: a man being roasted almost to death... and surviving to live on another 20 years or so in what can only be a neverending hell of emotional and physical wretchedness and torment.

Breakfast of champions? Oh, wait, I forgot: Ani’s not on the Wheaties box, he’s on Corn Flakes. My bad.

Anicorn

10 Comments

by Cate on June 8, 2005 2:44 PM

Yeah, the Pop-Tart thing is in particularly poor taste. Dark chocolate M&M's, on the other hand, are quite yummy. But they seem to have disappeared from stores, and I'm quite sad over that.

by David C on June 8, 2005 5:01 PM

Maybe that's because the "Dark Side" M&M's were really popular, and they'll be around for a long time? They are quite tasty. Good colors, too, unlike the "Jedi Mix," which basically looks like about the same thing you'd use for an Easter Mix (it's basically pastel blue and green "lightsaber" colors, and a bunch of earth tone "robe" colors.) The marketing is more than a little weird, but I can sort of understand it, too. In Episodes 4-6, Darth Vader can be more easily presented as a "fun" villain. He never does all that much that's truly, horrifyingly evil in a hands-on way like he does in Episode 3. Mostly, he just chokes his Imperial subordinates, who probably had it coming anyway.... :) But the point is, it's not until Episode 3 that the disconnect between marketing and character looks *really* super-weird.

by Newbia on June 8, 2005 7:23 PM

"Eat this candy... and turn to the Dark Side"? I'm reminded of that old joke. "Come to the Dark Side...we have cookies." "He never does all that much that's truly, horrifyingly evil in a hands-on way like he does in Episode 3." Doesn't Vader blow up a planet at one point? (Not being snarky; I just haven't seen the original trilogy in a while.)

by Mark on June 8, 2005 8:05 PM

In the original trilogy, just off the top of my head, Vader: - Orders stormtroopers onto Tatooine, where they massacre scores of jawas as well as Luke's foster parents - Interrogates, and probably tortures, Leia (who he may or may not know is his daughter) - Assists in the destruction of Alderaan (Tarkin actually orders it) - Kills numerous Rebel pilots at the battle of Yavin - Orders and personally supervises the assault on Hoth, killing hundreds (or more) Rebel soldiers - Tortures Han and Chewie only to capture Luke's attention - Kills several subordinates as a disciplinary measure And so on, and that doesn't cover the twenty-odd years of offscreen badness we can be sure was happening in between Episodes III and VI.

by ak on June 8, 2005 11:09 PM

yeah but I also think that darth vader represented for most a kind of childish evil (at least from the OT)which was mostly a cartoonish villan -more akin to count dracula and wicked witch from the wizard of oz than to stalin or hitler.. the new trilogy is more explicit about his downfall and darkness of course- and marketing depts which always try to appeal to our inner child - i mean people have no trouble eating count chockula cereal or learning their numbers from the sesame street count interestingly enough you don't see darth sidious (emperor palpitine) hawking pop tarts - we just dont have a cartoonish association with him - his is just plain bad...

by darth on June 9, 2005 12:23 AM

watching yoda sitting at a diner using the force to fight some moron for a diet pepsi really got me in the mood to see the movie.

by The Gaucho on June 9, 2005 5:48 AM

I never understood this whole 'endorsement' thing. (This has nothing to do with my dislike for Star Wars, I was equally appalled by the 'Lord of the Onion Rings' thingy). Why should I buy crap I wouldn't normally touch with pliers and a blowtorch because my favourite movie character is on it?

by Rykker on June 9, 2005 6:31 AM

Definitely tasteless, this marketing scheme is. But I very seriously doubt if the heads of these companies thought very deeply about how it would look. Since when do corporate profit-mongers think about that sort of thing? Appropriateness is irrelevant. It's all about the dollar, and raking-in as much as possible. This movie was going to be one of the most anticipated releases in cinema history, and Darth Vader is easily one of the most popular (i.e., recognizable) characters ever created. To those stuffed-shirts, exploiting both of those facts would be an instant, mega-profitable cash-cow. And they jumped on it. Their vision didn't extend beyond $$$$, I'm sure.

by David C on June 9, 2005 9:52 AM

And, to be honest, the only people who are likely to really notice the bizarreness of something like the Molten Lava Pop-Tarts are geeks like us. And we're more likely to *buy* the damn things ("This is so bizarre! That's why I've got to get it!") than to boycott them.

by Lennon on June 9, 2005 2:25 PM

I think This Vader product wins: http://shop.starwars.com/catalog/product.xml?product_id=1890 The Darth Vader Sprinkler. "Let the Dark Side defend your lawn from the ravages of summer heat or cool you off on a hot day with this Darth Vader sprinkler! Standing 10" tall, this great new Vader sprinkler spins around with water spraying action, wielding his lightsaber in a furious battle to save your lawn! Let Darth Vader be the center of your backyard universe today with this very cool garden accessory."

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Revenge of the shill

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